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THEY TOLD YOU
EVERYTHING.
HER WOULD
STILL CHECK.

Ten years of finding out the hard way, turned into one check a week. HER's Letters lands every Tuesday: one red flag, one check, one resource. Free. HER never asks your name.

Every Tuesday · Free · No account · Unsubscribe anytime

See a sample letter · Who is HER? · Start here

Anonymous Check First
HER — Check Her First
Hi it's me,
I'm HER.
From HER this week
"The people who rush you are managing something."
Emotional Safety ◆ Anonymous by Design ◆ Red Flag Recognition ◆ Step-by-Step Guides ◆ No Account Required ◆ Co-Parenting Tools ◆ HER's Letters Every Tuesday ◆ Background Searches ◆ Your Search Stays Yours ◆ Crisis Support ◆ Catfish Detection ◆ Divorce Recovery ◆ Emotional Safety ◆ Anonymous by Design ◆ Red Flag Recognition ◆ Step-by-Step Guides ◆ No Account Required ◆ Co-Parenting Tools ◆ HER's Letters Every Tuesday ◆ Background Searches ◆ Your Search Stays Yours ◆ Crisis Support ◆ Catfish Detection ◆ Divorce Recovery ◆
What We Cover

Way More Than
Background Searches.

Every stage. Before the first date, inside the relationship, after the discovery, and navigating what comes next.

01
Red Flag Recognition
The behavior patterns that matter, plus the digital ones — vault apps (apps that hide photos and messages behind a fake icon), hidden folders, and what people actually hide on a phone.
See what's hidden →
02
Checking Someone Out
Confirm they are who they say they are. Spot a catfish, run a background search, and make sense of what comes back — step by step.
Start checking →
03
Not Sure Where to Start?
New here, or just know something feels off? One page that shows you where to begin, whatever stage you're in.
Start here →
04
Co-Parenting Support
Co-parenting with someone difficult: how to document violations, keep contact to the minimum (parallel parenting), and protect your kids' wellbeing.
Get resources →
05
HER's Letters
Every Tuesday — one thing HER noticed, one check to run that week, and one question worth asking before you go further.
Subscribe free →
06
Crisis Support
When it's serious. Hotlines, safety planning, what to do if someone posts your private information online, and a step-by-step path forward — always available.
Get support →
Anonymous by Design

The Questions You're Asking
Are Nobody Else's Business.

CHF was built for people who need answers but aren't ready to ask out loud. That's why you can use everything here without an account, a login, or your name.

01
HER Doesn't Know Your Name
No account required. No login. No profile created. You read, you check, you leave. CHF never asks who you are.
02
Your Search Stays Yours
The tools we recommend are third-party services you access directly. CHF doesn't see your search results, your questions, or who you looked up.
03
No Judgment. Ever.
Checking someone out is not paranoia. It's due diligence. HER built this because she needed it — and she never wants anyone to feel ashamed for asking smart questions.

"HER doesn't know who you are, and she isn't going to ask. Use it however you need to — no account, no name, no questions asked."

— HER

HER
HER's Letters

The Only
Tuesday Email
Worth Opening.

One letter. One check. One thing HER noticed that week. Free, always.

Join everyone who'd rather know than wonder. We don't need your name, just your email.

Every Tuesday · No account · Unsubscribe in one click
We use basic, anonymous site analytics, and your email only to send HER's Letters. Privacy

From HER — Sample Letter
Something HER noticed this week: the people who feel the most certain the fastest are almost always managing something. Real connection doesn't rush you. It gives you time to look. If someone is making you feel foolish for slowing down — slow down more.

This week's check: before date three, run a reverse image search on every photo they've sent you. Four minutes. The information it might give you back is worth every one of them.
— HER
HER's Letters
Every Tuesday · Free
Free Guides

Know What
To Look For.

Real situations. Real tools. No judgment, ever.

Safety & Vetting
Signs You're Being Catfished: 12 Red Flags
When someone feels almost too good to be true, HER's instinct usually has a reason. Here's what to look for.
Read → 7 min
Dating Safety
First Date Red Flags You Shouldn't Ignore
A first date tells you more than you think — if you're paying attention to the right things, not just the flattery.
Read → 6 min
Relationship Safety
Signs Someone Is Lying About Being Single
The signs are usually there before the proof is. Here's what to track — and when to look harder.
Read → 7 min
Background Searches
How to Run a Background Search on Someone You're Dating
You're not being paranoid. You're being informed. Step-by-step, legal, easier than you think.
Read → 7 min
Digital Privacy
16 "Secret" Vault Apps People Use to Hide Photos
A calculator he never uses for math. Here's the full list, verified icon by icon — not just screenshotted.
Read → 10 min
View All Free Guides →
The Standard

Anonymous.
Not Unaccountable.

HER stays anonymous. How this site decides what to recommend doesn't.

Nothing Is Paid Placement

Every service and product here is something HER would actually use. Pricing is checked against the provider's own site before it goes on a page.

Affiliate Links Are Disclosed

Some links earn CHF a commission if you sign up. It's disclosed where it happens, and it doesn't decide what gets recommended.

Not a Lawyer or a Therapist

HER tells you what she found out the hard way. Anything touching divorce, custody, or safety says plainly when you need a professional.

How HER vets what's here →

If Things Are Serious Right Now —

HER has a dedicated crisis page with hotlines, safety planning, help if someone posts your private information online, and a step-by-step path forward. No questions asked. Always available.

Go to Crisis Support →